Bugs' Feeding Time
by Penutsonfire
Summary: Bugs gets hungry, what happens next will SHOCK you!


It seemed like an ordinary day for the famous cartoon icon Bugs Bunny. He enjoyed his fame in the human world, but in the cartoon world he was just an average ordinary relatable middle class working rabbit. He had the dashing good looks of any ordinary rabbit, but the charming characteristics of a real human man. Due to this winning combo, Bugs was able to woo the ladies and basically act like a successful man, despite his middling economic status.

Due to not having a lot of money, he had to eat of of ordinary carrots like a plebeian, and not those golden carrots that the rich fat cats over at Hollywood eat, those scum! Regardless, Bugs made due with the inferior in taste, but superior in mundanity factor of carrots. He pulled the carrot out of the fridge by it's long and thick shaft.

Just the smell of the delicacy got Bugs' stomach growling and he prepared to chomp down on a delicious carrot. He chomped down, feeling the delectable carrot chunks get grinded into a pulp fitting to be swallowed. He followed up with another bite, this one more vigorous than the last one. However, as he was chewing this fine food, he heard a loud noise outside.

It was obviously Elmer's gun going off, but nevertheless it caught Bugs off guard. The shock of hearing a startling noise caused bugs to get chunks of carrots in his throat, choking him. This was a problem, because Bugs needed air to flow through his throat to survive, but the carrots blocking the path did not allow that to happen. Bugs needed to find help and fast.

He scurried from his den, the dirty hole which he called a home. Looking back it was a real miracle that anything that could be categorized as 'living' would even think of dwelling in such a dirt hole. Well, anyways, Bugs ran and ran to find a character cool enough to help him out with this problem, lame characters like Tweety bird or Sam the sheepdog aren't cool enough to help such a rabbit as Bugs Bunny.

Luckily he found Daffy, a lamer character than Bugs, but still acceptable on the tier list of passable Looney Tunes characters. Bugs now had his chance to save his own life, as he felt the air in his body get thinner.

"Hey Bugs, what's up?" casually said Daffy, whilst hissing and spitting about as he normally did. He has a speech condition, don't judge him.

Bugs attempted to explain himself as he sputtered and yelped the best he could. However, he couldn't speak properly, on account of his windpipe being blocked by the orange menace, also known as carrots. Bugs had gotten desperate and fell to his knees out of weakness. He grasped Daffy's leg out in a vain hope of conveying his dire needs.

"Geez Bugs, you're usually so talkative, too talkative in fact. Actually this is a nice change of pace for you. Anyways, are you going to do something or just admire my new feathers. I just moulted by the way and appreciate the compliments." said Daffy, looking down at the choking bunny.

Bugs clenched his throat, trying to indicate that he was suffocating, but Daffy, being the stupid duck that he is, didn't get the hint.

"Welp, I'll see you later then Bugs ol' buddy ol' pal." said Daffy, as he happily jaunted away humming a pleasant tune.

Bugs needed to find someone else now, but he was to short of breath to even move now, as he fell flat on the floor. He had made some attempts to spit it out, but each attempt made him weaker and weaker. Finally the rabbit went unconscious, his view of the world blurred into a blakc fuzz.

Only a few minutes later, Elmer Fudd the hunter stumbled upon the corpse.

"Oh wow, free rabbit! Looks like I'm eating tonight!" said a gleeful Elmer. However his mood slightly changed upon further thought.

"Hmm, It's just not right if it's not earned, y'know." said Elmer Fudd, who then proceeded to shoot the dead rabbit a few times in the chest, just to make him feel like he did something. Then, he slung the corpse over his shoulder and headed home.

Finally it was time for satisfaction. For years Elmer had wanted rabbit stew all for himself, but was too unlucky and too stupid to hunt himself a real rabbit. He had given up a real job and any sort of meaningful relationship just for a taste, and now was the time of retribution.

"How do you feel now, Jenny from chemistry class? Who said I wouldn't make anything of my life? Well I showed them!" gloated Elmer as he chopped his rabbit into small bits. As he was doing this, he made a stunning discovery. The rabbit he had brought home was none other than Bugs Bunny!

He couldn't believe it, the rascally rabbit that had tormented him for years would now serve as his first meal of rabbit stew. What sweet poetic justice for Elmer, who had on multiple occasions cried himself to sleep due to the failure and humiliation at the hands of the cursed rabbit. Elmer was going to enjoy this. He lifted his cleaver once more.

Then he heard a scream, one that sounded all too familiar. It was of... Bugs? Yeas, Bugs Bunny was back from the dead, his shocked expression sent an electric shock down Elmer's spine. Bugs was just beginning to put together where he was and what had happened to him.

Bugs found himself in Elmer's kitchen, and he was missing and arm! The pain of this action felt horrifying to Bugs as the pain slowly came to fruition throughout his body. With out thinking, he ran for the door.

Elmer drew his gun, sitting on a rack nearby, and fired at the rabbit. Bugs went for the front door and and just as he was about to open it himself, the door opened on it's own, revealing two police officers that had come to investigate.

Elmer, in his rage, fired blindly as the door opened, missing his target but instead hitting the police that awaited at the front door. In response, the other officer didn't hesitate to taser Elmer and leave him incapacitated. He was swiftly disarmed and carried away.

"Hey doc, w-what's all the hubub, bub?" said Bugs weakly.

"We were sent here because we heard reports that Elmer had killed you and was carrying you back to his house. We were merely here to investigate before that lunatic open fired and killed private Johnson. Anyways, are you alright?" Said the officer

"Well, I've had better days." said Bugs Bunny.

Truthfully Bugs Bunny didn't really die, in fact, Elmer saved his life. Bugs had gone unconscious from lack of oxygen, but the gun shots from Elmer had dislodged the carrots from Bugs' throat, allowing him to breath. Truthfully, Elmer was a terrible shot, and none of his shots were fatal to Bugs. Bugs Bunny was alive, and it was all thanks to Elmer Fudd.

Three months later and Bugs went to attend Elmer's execution, as he had been given the death sentence in his trial. He felt it only right to visit his rival during his last moments. Bugs himself had healed, and although living with only one arm was hard, Bugs Bunny had made the best of what life had given him.

View Elmer's execution via the electrical chair felt cathartic to Bugs, as he now knew that he didn't have to endure any of his silly shenanigans again. Although in a way Bugs kind of missed the adventures of the olden days, but looking at his arm reminded him of the benefits to this bittersweet farewell.

THE END


End file.
